Baby · Family · Toddler

Our 2018 Family Bucket List

2018 is fast approaching and all the new year resolutions will start appearing on everyone’s timeline. Instead of a new year resolution, I’ve made a list of activities I want to do with my family. The majority will be firsts for Teagan💕. These simple activities will make some lovely memories 🙂 I shall update the list throughout 2018 👌🏻

1. Make a snowman.⛄️

2. Have a snow fight.❄️

3. Easter egg hunt.🐣

4. Go to the zoo.🐯

5. Go to the beach and make sand castles.🏖

6. Fly a kite. 💨

7. Go on a boat ride.⛵️

8. Go bowling.🎳

9. Strawberry picking.🍓

10. Go to a fair.🎠

11. See a Fireworks display.🎆

12. Pick a pumpkin and carve it.🎃

13. Family dress up for halloween.👽👻

14. Have a water fight in the garden.💦

15. See a play.🎭

16. Go to the cinema together to see a family film.👨‍👩‍👧

17. Have professional family photos.📸

18. Go on a family holiday.☀️

19. Visit a farm and feed the baby animals.🐰🐷

20. Play crazy golf.⛳️

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Baby · Pregnancy · Toddler

10 Things Parents NEVER Say

1. “I have so much energy!”

Zombies are real. They are parents.

2. “Looking forward to Teletubbies tonight.”

I used to say “My child will not watch too much TV.” Ha. I take it back. I don’t want to watch back to back episodes on Cbeebies.. but I watch it anyway. How can I say no to the cute tiny human holding a remote control in my face saying “Da. Ah. DAH.” Translation: Put Teletubbies on or I’ll have a bitch fit.

3. “Oh no! I overslept!”

Can you remember the last time your alarm woke you up? Or the last time you were late for work because you slept through your alarm? Me neither. Who needs an alarm when you have a child eh! Sleep is totally overrated…

4. “Childcare is so cheap!”

Blimey. It’s expensive. I kid you not, our childcare costs more than our mortgage.

5. “This cake is all mine, yum.”

Nuh uh uhhh. Parent shares food.

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6. “I haven’t got any recent photos of my baby..”

Storage full.

7. “Sorry, I’m early..”

So much to consider before leaving the house.. nappies, nappy bags, wipes, travel changing mat, comforter, drink, snack, spare clothes.. get coats and shoes on, pram ready, let’s go! ahhhh and now she’s had a poo! FFS.

ballpit8. “Oh damn, I have to go into the soft play area!”

Never too old to jump into a ball pit.

9. “We don’t have enough toys.”

Toys are everywhere. All the time. Teagan has more fun with the shoes and the DVDs but for some reason we still spend a small fortune on more toys.

10. “I rarely get ill.”

Once you have children, you will be a regular down the Doctor’s surgery. Colds, fevers, rashes, coughs.. you name it, they’ll catch it and give it to you. Bonus!

Toddler

The Toddler Guide to Housework

  1. How to fold the clean laundry: Take neat piles of clothes and throw on the floor. Bonus points for putting the clean clothes in the dirty laundry basket.

  2. How to put clothes away: Remove clothes from drawers and cupboards. 

  3. Hoovering: Push away from parent as far as possible. Stand on any tubes/cables you can see. Walk directly in front of the hoover. Bonus points for feeding the hoover with toys.

  4. Cleaning floor: Find sippy cup and sprinkle over floor so it’s nice and wet. Slip over and cry.

  5. How to clean the bathroom: Unroll as much toilet paper as possible before caught. This is a game. Bonus points if you manage to put something down the toilet.

  6. How to clean the windows: Smear food and dirty hands over glass. Push face against window and blow raspberries. 

A few more tips .. all shoes should be scattered around the house. The TV remote control should be hidden at all times. DVDs should never be in neat rows. Pots and pans should be removed from cupboards. Throw up on self once dressed. Poop when nappy has just been changed.

 

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Baby · Toddler

For the parents who have a non-sleeper.

1. Ohh is your baby not sleeping through the night yet? Have you tried leaving her to cry?

Er. No. Believe it or not, I like my child.

2. Oh, she’s not sleeping well? She’s probably teething.

Ohhh of course..I think you’ve cracked it! She’s also teething when she’s a little bit grumpy, when she cries, when she doesn’t eat, when she dribbles, when she has a rash, when she has a runny nose and when she puts her hand in her mouth. Clearly the answer to every problem.

3. Your child wont go to sleep? Maybe you should give them some calpol.

Ah yes. Drugs definitely seem like the best option here. Pass me the syringe.

4. Your baby wakes to be fed during the night? Give her a bigger dinner before bed.

Ohhh good idea. I’m clearly not feeding my child. Maybe when my child doesn’t want any more food because they have had enough, I could try to overfill their teeny tiny tummy until it looks like it might POP. Good idea. Really good idea.

5. Have you tried just putting her down when she’s sleepy?

AHAHHAHAAHAHHA. Funny.

6. Have you let her try to settle herself?

Please see above.

7. Why did the chicken cross the road?

Teething.

8. Why don’t you stop breastfeeding and bottle feed instead? Babies sleep better when they have a bottle.

LEAVE MY BREASTS OUT OF THIS!


All sarcasm aside.. my child does not sleep well, and that’s just the way she is! Every child is different. You are doing a great job, your child loves you and you are doing everything you can to make them happy.

 

Baby

Have a break

I reckon every mum is guilty of letting their little one do something naughty, just for a well deserved break. This week I’m guilty of letting T rip up half a roll of kitchen towel and scatter it lovingly around the house while I had a hot cuppa. I’m guilty of letting T splash the cat’s water bowl and drop cat biscuits in the water while I put some make up on. I’m guilty of letting T walk around the house with her buttery toast and messy hands just so I could avoid a melt down in the high chair. No regrets!

Note to self: Chilllll out! Have a sit down. Play and make a mess. Be a little lazy. Go make a brew.. You deserve it! ….oh and mow the god damn grass, do the food shop, put a wash on and hoover the house you lazy so and so!

Pregnancy

14 Weeks

14 weeks! My daughter is 14 weeks old already.. this is going incredibly fast !!!

It’s amazing how much changes in such a short period of time. My body has recovered and is back to normal (plus a slightly deflated balloon belly and a free boob job) and my daughter is in “3-6 month” clothing instead of “tiny baby”. The moses basket and carry cot have been put away and the newborn insert has been removed from the car seat..

Aww just look at the difference..

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A few days old..

 

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…14 weeks.

So what has happened lately? Last Saturday daddy and Teagan had their first swimming lesson which was very exciting for us. We were hoping for a similar reaction to bath time which is all splashes and smiles.. however, it was all a bit much for Teagan and she fell asleep in the pool.  We are also rolling over and TEETHING! This is how Teagan feels about teething…img_5497-edited

Pregnancy

Capture *every* moment..

2,456. That’s how many photos I have taken of Teagan in the last 10 weeks. I have always been interested in photography and for years I wanted to learn how to use a DSLR camera, but I just couldn’t commit the time or money. I finally decided to buy one towards the end of my pregnancy and guess what? All 2,456 photos have been taken on my iphone !!!!! Plum? Yes I am.

Here’s a photo I took with my new(ish) camera – enjoy!13573445_137035440075329_1769108145_n